Do you remember that
we’re in love like any other couple..?
If there is a
chance, I wish to hold hands stroll by the beach overlooking the sunset with
you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to go picnic with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to read a book while enjoying hot choco in a quiet corner of a
coffee shop with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to go on a short inbound vacation with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to dine in a fine dining restaurant with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to watch a movie in a cinema without past memories with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to go jogging around the neighborhood with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to bake a cake with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to window shopping in a mall with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to play a game of Dota with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to iron your formal clothes,
If there is a
chance, I wish to help you memorize your notes,
If there is a
chance, I wish to pack bento for you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to surprise you with little gift,
If there is a
chance, I wish to cook for you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to cut some fruits for you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to hear goodnight stories from you,
If there is a
chance, I wish for kiss goodnight from you,
If there is a chance, I wish you'll be dedicated for me,
If there is a chance, I wish you'll be gentle to me,
If there is a chance, I wish you'll be dedicated for me,
If there is a chance, I wish you'll be gentle to me,
If there is a
chance, I wish to forget hurtful words from you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to be gentle all time for you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to listen to the inner you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to be honest with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to be happy all the time with you,
If there is a
chance, I wish to tell you how special you are,
If there is a
chance, I wish to show you, how much I love you,
If there is a
chance. . .
Sometimes, the pain
from the scars appears. It had been 2 years yet I've never mentioned anything.
Because I thought I am living in a blissful world. However, reality and fantasy
is just border of a thin piece of line. I who am living in fantasy all the time
had been awaken by your realistic+ logical+ rational words. Yeah.. The phrases
you told me are very very true. In this world, a person can keep on living even
without one another. I agreed human can do it for the sake of survival. When
you told me this phrase, that you are able to do it, what shall I percept..? What
would the message that you would want to send..? Did I get you wrong that one
fine day, without me, you’ll be alright .? I believe you can do so. And I
believe I can do it too.
Betrayal… In the
dramas I watched, betrayal in a relationship is when they are on a same bed
with different partner while having one consistent one. Now that I notice,
betrayal not only happens physically but also mentally. One day, I wish you’ll
understand. Jealousy..? Freaking jealous larh. Okayyy…
Soul mate is there
when friends is absent. Agree or no..?
Is money a factor in
relationship..? hell yesssss…. Everywhere we go, whatever we do, there will be
involvement of money. Shall we stop then..? Should we give up…? Is it really
difficult not to use a penny to improve a relationship..?
Does pouring me a cup of water need money?
Does pulling blanket for me need money?
Does carrying heavy stuff for me need money?
Does helping me download dramas need money?
Does watching a streamed movie at home need money?
Does entertaining me need money?
Does making me smile once day need money?
Does keeping your promise with me need money?
Does everything you do to me need money?
Does spending time with me need money..? oh.. sorry that
I interrupted your time. I understand that time is golden for you. And your
precious time is meant for you only. If I were to use it, it’s like a death
note.
Am I that materialistic
that if you don’t spend a penny I’ll never happy?
Is what I am asking
for very irrational..?
Spending time with
me during special occasion thou we are not having big feast but just some
special moments together need money?
I and you understand
what kind of situation we are facing currently. I, who are much more financial
unstable able to keep on going n be easy about it, did not hope much from you.
Is just little things. Little things can make a difference.
Faking a smile, wearing
a mask is what you thought me when I don’t know anything about it. It’s hard
for starting. When I get used to it, like how u get use to me getting on my
nerves when you’re ignorant, it’ll be a piece of cake.
Remember that I am a girl. I’ll get sad, get
PMS, get jealous, get shy, get crazy, get suspicious, get neglected. I believe
in you, I can get through all these. I did my very very best that I could. Each
time, I am barely hanging there hoping you would come and save me. And the hope
is keep decreasing in time. How long more can I hold on to..? Each time my
limit being tested, I can only pray. Make myself be busy doing other things.
Keep thinking about other things to avoid it. And finally when the nights hit,
my pillow case got wet and I know I'm not alright at all. Crying whole night,
getting migraine the next day, pretending everything is alright. Not because I
want to avoid. Is it is the same problem occurring each time. We had talk about
it. No changes. I can’t and won’t blame you. I can only cry by myself and keep
my feeling to myself. Just how much effort are you willing to put in for me to
feel loved..?
nevertheless, after all these hassle, I told myself, there is nothing I can expect from you. are you that reliable that I can fully rely on you..? think about how good you are before pointing finger on me. Coz u'll never understand how much i tried. neither i understand how much u did to protect our relationship. I'll let you be whoever you want. it's too painstaking. whenever I cry, does it necessary to tears for someone who does not even put me at priority. let it be let it be is the only thing i tell myself~
They say, women is the reflection of their men
to be positive, I am this strong in front of everyone is because i received much support and love from you.
to be negative, I am this strong in front of everyone is because of those hardship you gave me that trained me so well from being more than a girlfriend.
and you may ask, y ain't i giving up..?
All i remember is there was once, a boy whom i like very much, asked me to be by his side~
They say, women is the reflection of their men
to be positive, I am this strong in front of everyone is because i received much support and love from you.
to be negative, I am this strong in front of everyone is because of those hardship you gave me that trained me so well from being more than a girlfriend.
and you may ask, y ain't i giving up..?
All i remember is there was once, a boy whom i like very much, asked me to be by his side~