hmnnn... this week mostly mark down some emotional moment.
Monday- Was in a rush for nothing. The whole day is like tat. Had our FnB theory and Front Office class. Today Ben was suppose to bring my things from his car. my shoes and jacket. Since he did not bring down from his car, i wore heels. I know girls will look nicer when wearing secret weapon heels, but hey, i appreciate u gave me the opportunity. but those heels really killing me and making me ache for sometime. >.< went home and did not have the appetite to eat also. haizz... my results is so bad. i really got no mood to play anymore. no outing n no appetite. i am a little stress but did not show. i wanna scire in my final so badly. Guilty about my term 5 results. But i did not regret spending those time together with them. Having fun instead of being serious. Give and take in life.
Tuesday- Today morning we had housekeeping practical. The class went well. One thing remarkable was, i did not join any of them for group assignment. when i say that i don't want, all i got is a walk away reaction. that time seriously broke my heart. I am not angry or kiasu joining others. is a matter of friendship. i seriously wonder what level of friendship are we sharing..? Is there any care or at least help..? it's okie. to motivate myself, i think on the bright side. thinking it's good to join some different personnel. i came to uni to learn to handle all these. at least i am trying and learning different things~ To avoid facing the situation more, i ran to toilet and cry silently. chillax. trying to comfort myself all is well. During lunch also another problem. When deciding where to eat, we r divided into deux groups. some will eat at luxury stall while some will remain as commoner. I will say it's luxury because i am from a class or a person of people that cannot afford to eat at these stalls everyday. perhaps once or twice in a week depending on my economic. And we ate at Korean stall. Happy and satisfied my meal. :) Bought Chatime for Karen. Sometimes i wish there is a friendship that i can share in uni. Those people who i known as friend is actually someone i trust, i care and i love. but when people don't treat me the same, my little heart is a little cracked. yea.. i am this stupid. i know this~ it's just a small world and life is short. where is the love..? Went to library to search for books and kickstart PSR. Ended up reading Bobbi Brown book. At least i did something for myself that day.
Wednesday- Arghh... has been busy borrowing and returning book from library. Attend morning class again. Duex classes and until 12noon. Borrowed books from library. A lot, and collected RM200 voucher from government. Hooray, suddenly 4 pieces of paper can change into Rm200. i am fascinated. hahas.. i am so going to change it into cash by hook or crooks. Went home, wash clothes, take bath, eat late lunch and sleep. whole night very sien. read tea book. i did not bring my lappie go back. Books content my empty soul of everynight. Packed and rest. got ready to go back Sban and celebrate Chinese New Year.
Thursday- Woke up late as i sleep late. And then, have French class. I was playing with ku~ku~ so happily. Entered beverage study class and have lunch at Zhia's Kitchen. Koko drop by and carry all my books back. i am so glad. hehe.. one thing that i cannot and don't wish to accept,
There is no no for books now. I realized that, i don't spent much. I spent on my very very basic necessity.Some people will think i am kiam siap or treat myself cruelly. But this is the fact of who i am. i seriously got no money. Who will doesn't want to spend money buy pretty clothes, change style, wear heels, eat well, and use good product..? but i gotta think that money is not earn by me and when it is like this, i got only minimum right to spent them. Sometimes i feel guilty not able to buy things for people i love. Eat romantic dinner together. I purposely left out myself for gathering to cut cost. I avoid any event or places that need to use money. I noe all these could end up forever alone or anti-social. but do i have a choice..? in this reality world where many many people is so up to material, and the class of people that i join, do u think they will understand my situation..? understand and action is also different things. i am lucky that i still got friend that appreciate my bufdae text while one ignore like nothing happen. =.='' This show who you are to them. i am lucky. very that one. When nobody in this entire world know what i am facing, i can at least share it here. like this, i will feel better. you won't noe how much n how much of pressure i have inside me. T.T Living like a zombie, not able to live life that you want for almost 2 years. i wish i could live like a normal 20 years old girl.
Friday- spend my day at daddy's house. when i think back our old moment, really old as in like 4yrs ago, i am happy. Happy that we started. Maintaining is good at start but nowadays. . . we r lazy to give surprises and do further for each other. last time, we use to text each other when both at high school. when daddy went for pre-U i can only see him during weekend and chat/ text at night. when he is having degree and i am at diploma, we only chat at night. sometimes for a while or sometimes there is none. >< and now, there will be less and less text/ call/ chat. this is what maturity and time changed us. Finger cross that when he is having intern or we are both working, we will contact each other once in a week. T.T tat time, i wonder, is it really have to be like this..? everyone will be busy and have their things to do. Agreed with Ivan very much. time is like cleavage, need to me squeeze out. hmnn... we shall see.. And then i watched a little thing called love. what a nice, naive and romantic movie. hehe..
Saturday- spend my day at home. can be called as a boring day. i did a while my psr and linger around hse. hohoho~ cnt watch dramas scard get addicted. not able to open and face the book. then sweep floor, blogging and .. . . hahas.. k la. i really need to start reading. i don't do anything that i will regrets. hehe..